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You reprimanded your executive assistant for not reserving the correct seat on your flight to Tucson.  You did not invite the employee who missed a deadline to lunch with the rest of your staff.  You lowered another's performance review because he reminds you of your husband. Sound familiar? One of those happened to me and I can say for sure that abusive bosses exist. Why do they do it?  Some believe it's to make themselves feel better.  But duh, according to a new study, they don't feel good for long, newswise.com reports. Being a jerk to your employees may actually improve your well-being, but only for a short while, suggests new research on abusive bosses co-authored by a Michigan State University business scholar. Bullying and belittling employees starts to take its toll on a supervisor’s mental state after about a week, according to the study.  “The moral of the story is that although abuse may be helpful and even mentally restorative for super...

You may think your friends feel about you the same way you feel about them.   But guess what?  Maybe not. A new study says that someone you think might be your friend might really not be so keen about you, according to The New York Times. The study analyzed friendship ties among 84 people and found that the feelings were mutual about 53% of the time (good, right?) but their expectation of reciprocity was a whopping 94%.  Why the disconnect?  And why does it feel so bad? The article says that the possibility of non-reciprocal friendship challenges one's self-image. Who wouldn't feel bad to know the friend whose (bratty) kids you took for a weekend so she and her husband could go away really doesn't even consider you a close connection? Friendship has become somewhat commoditized, experts say, these days.  How could it not, when "friend" has now become a verb?  And we try to collect as many as we can when we're on Facebook or Twitter or LinkedIn? Qu...

Who hasn't heard "where there's a will, there's a way"? Usually when someone wants you to do something you don't.   Save $100 every month from your paycheck (my husband).   Lose that 10 pounds.  Tell your partner you'll be home on time -- even though you never are (again, my husband). Now a study is saying there’s more than one way to gain a sense of control over your life, according to new research from Johns Hopkins University, as reported by newswise.com. The traditional view of a life in control is one in which an individual has taken actions to ensure success in both the near and long terms, says study author Erik G. Helzer, an assistant professor at the Johns Hopkins Carey Business School . This is “primary control” ― the attempt to win mastery by striving for goals and asserting one’s will upon circumstances. But, Helzer argues in a recently published paper, another method, “secondary control,” has been given short shrift in both the sc...

It's the Christmas season and materialism is rearing its ugly head. According to two psychologists who studied the subject, materialism tends to be associated with treating others in more competitive, manipulative and selfish ways, as well as with being less empathetic. It 's associated with people making a lot of money and being able to buy a lot of things.  And did you know that TV makes us more materialistic? "Research shows two sets of factors that lead people to have materialistic values," says Tim Kasser, Ph.D., a professor of psychology Knox College in Galesburg, IL. "First, people are more materialistic when they are exposed to messages that suggest such pursuits are important, whether through their parents and friends, society, or the media. Second, and somewhat less obvious -- people are more materialistic when they feel insecure or threatened, whether because of rejection, economic fears, or thoughts of their own death,"  I have a s...

I was really disappointed to read this.  But a new study has found that animals do not improve well-being and care of patients in hospitals and other places that provide healthcare, according to newswise.com. "If you speak with most people they'll say it's a good thing for animals such as dogs and cats to be taken into hospitals, so that patients can derive some form of therapeutic effect from their association with the animals," the Web site quotes lead author  Professor Anna Chur-Hansen , Head of the  School of Psychology  at the University of Adelaide in Australia. But the truth of the matter is that this has just not been proven.  The study found not enough scientific data to say either way whether the presence of animals, though calming and appreciated, really do provide any actual healthcare benefits. "The assumption is that these programs are beneficial – and from the little evidence available they are likely to be – but no-one has yet fully assess...

My son has a friend whose parents think we don't have enough rules in our house.  The boy loves to come over because he can watch all the TV he wants (and stares in a trance at his favorite shows) and can play Xbox morning, noon and night, if he wants that, too, unlike home where it's outlawed during the week. It's true, we don't have many rules beyond bedtime at 8:30 on school nights, brush your teeth before, eat fruit at least a couple times a day, and do your homework.  But that's because, and forgive me while I brag, we have a good kid who gets good grades and pretty much does what he's told (if you don't count picking up after himself). But a new study has just found that children who have regular routines fare better with social-emotional health (SEH), according to newswise.com. Children who regularly sing, play, story-tell and eat dinner with their families tend to have higher social-emotional health, the Web site reports. Now we're a lit...

If you're one of these, you probably already know this. But a new study has shown that entrepreneurs are happier. According to smartplanet.com, individuals who build their own businesses tend to have higher senses of well-being than those who are employed by others. Duh.  I left corporate life over 20 years ago, and though there have been certainly been ups and downs (in a down right now), I've loved just about every minute. I loved the projects I got, so satisfied to create an end product like a news story or speech or talking points instead of having to sit in endless meetings where nothing much was every accomplished except some vice president flaunting her power. Not surprisingly, the study showed that involvement in entrepreneurial activity can be linked to higher levels of satisfaction and contentment.  At times I made a lot of money but that meant less than the thrill I felt creating work that was mine, all mine, and when the clients really liked it, well, I'v...

Can they ever make up their minds?  First experts told us too many kids don't get enough exercise.  Now they're saying kids can get too much exercise. But let's clarify who we're talking about here.  A recent study says that kids who actively participate in exercise more than 14 hours a week could face negative effects on their well-being. Let's slow down and see what's going on.  The US Department of Health and Human Services recommends that young people aged between 6 and 17 years carry out at least 60 minutes of physical activity a day, equating to 7 hours a week.  The study, done in Switzerland and Canada, found that 14 hours is optimal for good health, according to medicalnewsdaily.com. But anything over that is where the problems supposedly begin.  Researchers surveyed over 1,000 teens between 16 and 20 in Switzerland. on their exercise regimes.  Slightly more than half were male, and about 9% of these were obese. The teenagers with ...

Who's healthier?  You or your car? It's the theme of a cute new commercial, with the guy I adore (used to be on QVC) asking people all these questions.  (Wish he'd take off that baseball cap, but maybe he has no hair under it?) The new question is, what's in better shape, you or your car . Predictably, the folks all say their car, including the guy who says he needs a new wheel, but his car is doing great. But what's the truth of this?  Do we take better care of our cars?  Sue Curry, PhD, recently blogged on at the Huffington Post that this is a matter not to be taken lightly.  While cars have gotten smaller and more compact, we've gone the opposite way.  She references Martin Becker, a renown "healthcare promoter," as she describes him, who facetiously noted that "we should weigh less than our cars." But in the years since he said this, she reports, "Cars have become lighter and we all know what's happened to our weight....