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Ask, don't tell. No, we're not talking about gays in the military but New Year's resolutions. Experts say if you ask someone if they're going to exercise in the new year, you're far more likely to get a positive response than if you say, you're a fat pig, you need to lose weight. We all make resolutions at the new year -- and most of us drop them by about the third week of January.  I know, I'm one of them -- though my determination to lose weight and run at least 3 miles a day every day has stayed strong.  Of course, I've only lost about 5 pounds this year and some people still say, "I saw you out walking," when I'm jogging by. But asking about resolutions in a simple question can be a game-changing technique for people who want to influence their own or others' behavior, according to a recent study spanning 40 years of research.  The research looked at the phenomenon in which asking people about performing a certain behav

I have a friend who posts everything she does -- from the restaurants where she drinks wine (holding up the glass to prove it) to the meals she prepares in her kitchen to the new car she bought with a convertible top (posed with a Santa cap and the top down at Christmas), angling for likes. I guess you would say she's dependent on Facebook Now a new study says that if what drives you to Facebook is feedback on your posts, or even just news, or games, yup.  You're hooked.  But that's not necessarily a bad thing, says Amber Ferris, an assistant professor of communication at The University of Akron's Wayne College. at newswise.com. Ferris, who studies Facebook user trends, says the more people use Facebook to fulfill their goals, the more dependent on it they become. She is quick to explain this dependency is not equivalent to an addiction. Rather, the reason why people use Facebook determines the level of dependency they have on the social network. The study

This might make you think twice the next time you reach for an Oreo out of a vending machine. A new study has found that harmful bacteria can survive on sandwich crackers and cookies for months.  And months. According to newswise.com, researchers at the University of Georgia found that pathogens, like salmonella, can survive for at least six months in cookies and crackers. The recent study was prompted by an increased number of outbreaks of food-borne diseases linked to low-water-activity, or dry, foods. We won't even get into Chipotle. “There have been an increased number of outbreaks of diseases associated with consumption of contaminated dry foods. We wouldn’t expect salmonella to grow in foods that have a very dry environment,” says Larry Beuchat, a Distinguished Professor Emeritus and researcher in the UGA College of Agricultural and Environmental Sciences, who works with the Center for Food Safety on the UGA campus in Griffin.  Beuchat and study co-author Dav

They don't know if they're coming or going.  Doctors are now saying that alcohol is good for your heart.  But maybe not so much for your breasts, ladies. Turns out a whole confluence of studies has found that one drink a day, every day, keeps your heart healthier but may contribute, somewhat significantly, to the development of breast cancer.   But any more than that, not so much.  And as for those who really don't imbibe at all, we could be in the worst shape of all. According to The New York Times, research into how alcohol consumption affects health has been going on for a long time. A 1990 prospective cohort study included results of more than 275,000 men followed since 1959. Compared with those who never drank alcohol, those who consumed one to two drinks a day had a significantly reduced mortality rate from both coronary heart disease and “all causes.” Those who consumed three or more drinks a day still had a lower risk of death from coronary heart disease

We all know the story of the woman expecting a diamond necklace who gets the Swiffer for Christmas. Or the woodworker, the mani-pedi. What do you do when you get a gift you really . . .don't want? Oh, I've been there. Granted, my husband is Jewish and Christmas has come hard to him. But what do you do when you don't get what you want, from somebody you love but who should know better? Experts conducting an experiment found that women who got an undesirable gift shrugged it off, while men who got a bad one weren't quite so easy-going. They say it's easier for women to wreck a new relationship with a bad gift. As if. Larry hasn't always been a, well, great gift-giver. When we first started dating I got a diamond heart one Christmas, a solid gold bracelet another and even one-carat diamond earrings the Christmas I was pregnant with our son ( my idea). What is the effect of bad gifts given within established relationships? A

Getting less and less sleep ?  Congratulations.  You've evolved to a human. Humans get by on significantly less sleep than our closest animal relatives. The secret, according to a new study, is that our sleep is more efficient. Researchers from Duke University scoured the scientific literature and compiled a database of slumber patterns across hundreds of mammals including 21 species of primates -- from baboons and lemurs to orangutans, chimpanzees and people. They then used statistical techniques to account for each species' position in the primate family tree. They found that humans are exceptionally short sleepers -- getting by on an average of seven hours of sleep a night, whereas other primate species, such as southern pig-tailed macaques and gray mouse lemurs, need as many as 14 to 17 hours.  Now, I don't particularly care much about the sleep habits of southern pig-tailed macaques, I find it interesting that they make out better than us at night (

It's pretty much the same old story. But it's still a good one. Live in the moment.  But now researchers say it will help with motivation , too. Their point?  Enjoy the task at hand, according to newswise.com.  A new study from the University of Chicago Booth School of Business finds people value having a positive experience when they are in the middle of an activity, although this matters less to them before or after they start the activity. For example, people value that their work is engaging more when in the middle of a current job then when thinking about future work.  Because when people look forward to or back on an activity, they tend to underestimate how important it is to actually enjoy doing it, people also underestimate in advance how much the presence or absence of a positive experience will influence their persistence on a task. And further, people may come to regret selecting activities that provide a less enjoyable experience when they are enga

Helicopter parent. I admit it.  Though it's morel like kamikaze, in my case. But a new study has alleviated my stress a little.  I let my teenager go in with the doctor alone on annual visits, unlike many other parents. Just 34 percent of parents say their teen discussed health concerns privately with a doctor without them in the room, and less than 10 percent say their teens can complete their health history form independently. Although I shouldn't congratulate myself too much.  I'm very lucky, my son is healthy and doesn't have any health concerns at this time.  But I do go in first with him and answer the doctor's questions about his general health, though I'm letting up a little on that, too.   “The majority of parents are managing teens’ health care visits, and their teens may be missing out on valuable opportunities to learn how to take ownership of their own health,” newswise.com quotes Sarah J. Clark, M.P.H., associate director of the C.S.

Now this is a little eerie. Computers supposedly know when we're angry . It's not from banging on the keys.  Or shrieking at it, "You saved it, didn't you?!"  Would you believe it's from the movement of your mouse? Brigham Young University information systems experts say people experiencing anger (and other negative emotions--frustration, confusion, sadness) become less precise in their mouse movements and move the cursor at different speeds. Thanks to advances in modern technology, the team can now gather and process enough data points from  cursor movement to measure those deviations and indicate an emotional state.  Using this technology, websites will no longer be dumb," Jenkins said. "Websites can go beyond just presenting information, but they can sense you. They can understand not just what you're providing, but what you're feeling." According to research, when users are upset or confused, the mouse no longer

Want some reasons to break up with Facebook?  Experts say there are four but I'm sure you can think of many more.  The time your (ex) fiance changes his listing back to "single" (and this is before he tells you!). The time you learned (as I have, many times) about the parties your kid's not invited to.  The endless stream of kids making high honors, or slugging the winning ball or hot beach vacations when you were just jumped by a loose dog and had your cell phone stolen, to boot (read: me).   New research from Cornell Information Science discovered four reasons why our relationship with Facebook is complicated, according to newswise.com: • Perceived addiction – Those who feel that Facebook is addictive or habitual were more likely to return, according to the group’s research. One participant described this habitual aspect by saying, “In the first ten days, whenever I opened up an Internet browser, my fingers would automatically go to 'f'.” • Priv

I know I've been there.  Hired to flip burgers when I have a B.S. in journalism and have spent many years in (high-paying) corporate environments.  But overqualified employees are a boon to businesses.  Of course.  A new study found that, while overqualified  — the condition of employees who believe that their qualifications exceed the requirements of their jobs — has been widely considered harmful for organizations (which is why most companies shy away from such job applicants), it's quite the opposite. Researchers spent six months conducting interviews and studies of 11 information technology companies in China and discovered that, "when individual employees feel that they are not the only ‘big fish in the pond,’ and when overqualification becomes a norm rather than exception within the group, they tend to have more favorable reactions toward their own over-qualification status and perform better," newswise.com reports. A lot of words to say we're

I suppose it makes sense.  But a new study says that the Internet is making us less quick to say we know things. Sure.  That's because anyone anywhere can look up just about anything to confirm you're right (or wrong). People are less willing to rely on their knowledge and say they know something when they have access to the Internet, suggesting that our connection to the web is affecting how we think, according to newswise.com. Professor Evan F. Risko, of the Department of Psychology at the University of Waterloo, led a recent study where the team asked about 100 participants a series of general-knowledge questions, such as naming the capital of France. Participants indicated if they knew the answer or not. For half of the study, participants had access to the Internet. They had to look up the answer when they responded that they did not know the answer. In the other half of the study, participants did not have access to the Internet. The team found that the

We all know (or should) the dangers of texting and sometimes, even talking on the phone, while driving.  But a new study has found that talking to our car could be just as distracting, too. Past human factors/ergonomics studies have shown that some in-vehicle technologies intended to help with driving tasks are actually competing for drivers’ attention and undermining driving safety, according to newswise.com. Human factors/ergonomics studies over the past 10-plus years have examined a variety of distractors, including watching TV (yes), emailing and, of course, putting on makeup. Researchers conducted a series of experiments aimed at determining the relationship between cognitive distraction of various kinds and on-road crash risk. Distracting tasks included listening to the radio, talking on both handheld and hands-free phones, and interacting with voice-to-text e-mail. Their results from baseline, driving simulator, and on-road conditions using a number of measureme

When I worked in one office, I often went out to lunch with my colleagues.  They were all women and about the same age, and three of us out of 7 were pregnant at the same time! But in other offices I either worked through lunch or took lunch alone. Now a new study is saying that workers who do break bread together are more productive. Actually, what researchers looked into was if companies who invest in upscale cafeterias or catered meals (think: Google), getting a good return on their investment? According to a new Cornell University study, the answer is yes.  Cornell professors found that firefighter platoons who eat meals together have better group job performance compared with firefighter teams who dine solo. Now, I've interviewed firefighters and their meals are one of the high points of their day.  They love sharing the cooking and joking around while someone's at the stove. “Eating together is a more intimate act than looking over an Excel spreadsheet to

OK, I admit, I failed this test .  You’re a careful eater, avoiding high-calorie snacks and meals as a rule. But one day at the lunch counter, instead of ordering the usual salad, you’re tempted by a cheeseburger. Will you give in? I did. This apparently shows that you're influenced by whether you view yourself as more or less of an independent type, and whether you generally try to be ambitious or maintain the status quo. This could mean a lot in setting goals, according to a new study, which has shown that how you view yourself may have an impact on setting goals. Researchers examined two kinds of “self-construal” – that is, how people view themselves. Someone with an “independent” self-image sees himself as distinct from others, while a person with an “interdependent” view of himself aims to fit into the social structure and maintain harmonious relations with others. Additionally, the study identifies two kinds of goals – those of “attainment” and of “mainte

Everyone is in shock about the mass killings at Planned Parenthood in Colorado Springs and now, at the campus for disabled adults in San Bernadino. But how can you be sure you don't raise a pyschopath ? A new study says that parents who don't pay enough attention to their children's distress may, in some very rare cases, not hear their children's cry for help, and then we all know what carnage can happen, after that. The recipe is pretty simple, at least to me. How do you stop a child, especially one who has experienced significant adversity, from growing up to be a psychopath? Responsive, empathetic care-giving – especially when children are in distress – helps prevent boys from becoming callous, unemotional adolescents, according to a new Tulane University study of children raised in foster care. The study showed that intervention can actually prevent such a disastrous outcome.  The destructive condition affects approximately 1 percent of the populatio

Now THIS I find truly depressing. Did you know that you only have to run 1.5 to three miles two or three times a week to be healthy?  So why am I killing myself doing 3-5 miles a DAY every day? Granted, I'm proud of myself that in late middle age (late late?), I'm still able to do this.  Not that I run very fast.  In fact, some people have said, "I've seen you out walking."  As if. I'm a little faster than that.  (But not much.)  I can do two miles in about 22 minutes.  Don't ask about the longer runs. But Gretchen Reynolds wrote in the New York Times this week that all you need to stay healthy is that meager amount I mentioned in the beginning. She says the maximum benefits of running "occur at quite low doses," she says. I have to admit I was proud when an ER doctor (yes, another fall from running) asked if I had any heart problems because my pulse was so slow.  (Me and Lance Armstrong!  We have the same beats per minute of our hearts

Now this is depressing. A new study says that you can affect not only your kids with any stress you may be feeling, but your grandkids, too. Exposing female adolescent rats to stress before they even become pregnant leads to changes in behavior and the hormonal system not only among their children but also among their grandchildren when they reach adulthood; this according to a new study from the University of Haifa.  he researchers also found a gene related to stress which expresses itself differently in the brain of individual offspring from the moment they are born. According to the researchers, this finding suggests that it is not maternal care which influences variations in offspring, regarding stress, according to newswise.com. As in previous studies, the researchers exposed the female rats, when still adolescents, to minor stress involving changes in temperature and routine for a week. Their direct offspring grew up without any stress-inducing intervention, as

Just when you thought you had it licked, now it's time to start all over again. We've all been cutting out soda from our diets, but now did you know that sugar-free drinks can harm you, too? According to a new study , sugar-free products cause serious dental issues. Say what?  Say goodbye to your tooth enamel, that's what. A recent study by the University of Melbourne's Oral Health Cooperative Research Centre goes with the argument against these drinks. The research states that these sugar-free drinks we enjoy can actually cause extensive damage to the tooth enamel. The research team conducted tests for 23 different types of drinks (soft drinks and sports drinks). Even if the drink is sugar-free, they found that the drinks have acidic additives and if there are low pH levels, they can induce damage to the dental enamel. The researchers found that there is an occurrence of dental enamel softening and tooth surface loss after the tooth's contact to

What is it with cleaning out our closets? At the beginning of every season, I do it. But I dread it. At first I feel so great, weeding out all the size 14s – and size 8s – so that I can finally see into the very back of my very tiny closet. I pack them in shopping bags and take them to a charitable donation spot but carrying them in, something else sweeps over me. I leave, feeling hollow. Granted, getting rid of baby clothes is very hard. Who doesn't remember when that little head fit inside that bunny hood, instead of headphones now? But it's not just that. I see slices of my life peeling away, ones that will never come back. His favorite striped shirt I had to cut a hole in so he could fit his head through it in preschool. (My husband's family is known for their big heads.) The shoes he wore when he first started walking (thankfully, I knew enough to grab them back from the garbage when we bought him new sneakers.) And his ghost Halloween co

So what's the one four-letter word nobody likes to hear?  No, it's not that one. A new study says it's "busy."  Probably because that implies that the person who is doesn't really have any time for you.  You're just not that important.  The study claims this word is a friendship killer.  I'm not so sure.  Telling your best friend not to tell anyone that your husband's having an affair and her repeating it anyway.  That's a friendship killer.  The friend the one having the affair with your husband?  Now that's a friendship killer.  Decorating your family room with neckties and your friend copying you?  Maybe not so much. These days, yahoo.com says, being busy is being alive.  I suppose so.  But as a Type A personality myself, if I have a free minute, I go running.   Or vacuum.  Or play soccer with my son (hate that).  I can't stand to sit still.  (I suppose I'll live longer.  Other studies say if you sit too much, you die ea

Raisins.  They're sweet, have a lot of vitamins,  and make breads and cookies taste good.  But did you know they can predict how smart your toddler will perform academically at age eight, according to research conducted at the University of Warwick. It's not quite as ground-breaking as it sounds.  It's simply a test to see how long a 20-month old child can wait to pick up a raisin in front of them.  In the study toddlers were given a raisin that was placed under an opaque cup within easy reach. After three training runs toddlers were asked to wait until they were told (60 seconds) they could touch and eat the raisin. During the study it was found that those who were born very prematurely were more likely to take the raisin before the allotted time, according to newswise.com. In a follow on-study the academics found that those who couldn’t inhibit their behavior as toddlers weren’t performing as well in school as their full-term peers seven years later.  Aro

Pretty funny.  Did you know that reading self-help books can stress you out? Really.  Turns out that consumers of self-help books are more sensitive to stress and show higher depressive symptomatology, according to a new study in Montreal. I think I might know why.  Probably those of us who are drawn to these kinds of publications are already under stress and looking for solutions.  I know when I was an aficionado of these kinds of books, it was only because I was totally stuck in some situation that I couldn't figure how to get out of. “Initially, we thought we had observed a difference in participants in terms of personality, sense of control, and self-esteem based on their self-help reading habits,” explains Catherine Raymond, first author of the study and a doctoral student at the CSHS of the Institut universitaire en santé mentale de Montréal, at newswise.com. “In reality, there seems to be no difference between those who read and those who do not read these types

Admit it.  Seeing 50 likes on our Facebook post thrills us(I'm lucky to see five!). But a new study has found that, for kids, liking something is a lot less stressful than being liked.  Huh? According to newswise.com, liking on Facebook is good for teens' stress levels, but not so much being liked. In fact, teens who have more than 300 Facebook friends have higher levels of cortisol, the stress hormone, researchers say. As we all know, Facebook can have positive and negative effects on us, and teens' levels of the stress hormone, say researchers at the University of Montreal and the Institut universitaire de santé mentale de Montréal.  Too many likes hikes the levels of cortisol.  But teens who act in ways that support their Facebook friends – for example, by liking what they posted or sending them words of encouragement – decreased their levels of cortisol.  Makes sense.  I've always found that it makes me feel good to help others feel the same way.  Thi

We all know them. The parents who explode if the kid gets a "B."  Maybe we're even them, sometimes. But a new study has found -- unsurprisingly -- that parents who push their kids too hard inhibit their ability to learn, according to newswise.com. When parents have high hopes for their children’s academic achievement, the children tend to do better in school, unless those hopes are unrealistic, in which case the children may not perform well in school, according to research published by the American Psychological Association. “Our research revealed both positive and negative aspects of parents’ aspiration for their children’s academic performance. Although parental aspiration can help improve children’s academic performance, excessive parental aspiration can be poisonous,” says lead author Kou Murayama, PhD, of the University of Reading. When aspirations exceeded expectations, the achievement of the children in the study decreased proportionately, the s

Do you think you can tell anything about someone by their tweets ? I believe I can.  I have friends who tweet every single thing they do -- what they're eating for dinner, what music they're listening to, even their new running shoes.  (WHO CARES? I often want to tweet back.)  But I know these people are just self-obsessed and desperate for attention. Then there are those who like to bloviate about what's going on in the world.  Sometimes the opinions are learned (that's when they agree with me), but most of the time it's just people blowing off steam (or hot air). But now a new study that looked at more than 20 million tweets has uncovered that we tend to tweet more negatively during the week, and more positively on the weekend and that people in urban and rural areas experience situations that are, for the most part, psychologically similar, according to newswise.com. People frequently tweet about their locations, what they are doing, how they are feeli

I'm a doom and gloom person. I always expect the worst. And it usually does. Take last week. Out running in my neighborhood I was jumped by a huge muzzled (muzzled!) German Shepherd who slashed my bare leg (it was warm then!) with his toenails. He did draw blood, two smallish scratches on my thigh. When I went online, worried about rabies (a friend who lives nearby says he's always running around with animals in his mouth), it turned out I was at risk only if he'd licked his paw first. Uh,no. Thank goodness for small favors. Animal Control came and went and nothing seemed to happen (this dog runs loose all the time, but that's a story for another time). Then my cell and charger (and, most painful of all, my new J.T. Watkins CD) were stolen out of my car (and cost me a fortune, even with insurance, to replace!). Granted. The car was unlocked. But it was a strange feeling, like being violated. It must have been catching because t

Now, how about this? Parents of first-born sons and only-child daughters give more.  Say what?  Parents’ charitable giving is affected by the sex of their first child, according to a new study as reported at newswise.com. "The sex of the first-born child affects the likelihood that the parents will give to charity, the amount they give, and the types of causes and organizations they support," says Debra Mesch, the Eileen Lamb O'Gara Chair in Women’s Philanthropy and director of Women's Philanthropy Institute at the Indiana University Lilly Family School of Philanthropy, located on the Indiana University-Purdue University Indianapolis campus.   "This is an important factor influencing charitable giving that was previously unknown." The study provides the first evidence that the sex of the first-born child influences the parents' giving in two-parent families, but not in single-parent families. Among other key findings of the " Wome

Who hasn't been there?  We see a pretty -- or handsome -- face and we can't look away.  The reason is pretty obvious.  But there's a new one that may take your breath away. It's our brain rewarding us for looking. A quick glimpse of a face provides us with rich information about the person in front of us. Are we acquainted? Man or woman? Happy or angry? Attractive? Research has shown that our visual system is able to direct attention to the most important information in a face. A new study suggests that evolution has made us experts on faces, according to newswise.com. “We are very curious about others’ faces, we read stories in them and evaluate their aesthetic value,” says Olga Chelnokova, writing for her Ph.D thesis at the department of psychology, University of Oslo. Together with colleagues from another research group, she revealed that the brain reward system – a cluster of regions deep in our brain – is involved in our evaluation of other people’s

Who hasn't done this?  If the light stays green till I get there, I'll get that raise.  I said nothing bad ever happens to that backstabber and now he broke his leg.  If I'm really nice, my husband will make dinner.  Well, you get the drift. It's called magical thinking and we all do it.  When sports fans wear their lucky shirts on game day, they know it is irrational to think clothing can influence a team’s performance. But they do it anyway. Even smart, educated, emotionally stable adults believe in superstitions that they recognize are unreasonable, according to newswise.com. Research has found that even when people recognize that their belief does not make sense, they can still allow that irrational belief to influence how they think, feel and behave. I know when I was waiting for a biopsy report, I tried not stepping on cracks, wishing only good things for people I didn't really like, and seeing if my magic numbers (668) came out in Lotto,all to

I just found out my best friend is moving to one of the wealthiest communities in the country.  Not only will she be able to avoid all the rush-hour traffic in our town, she'll also be able to remove her son from his inner city high school and place him in one of the top schools in the state. The green-eyed monster has reared its ugly head. Actually, though, I'm a little out of my element.  When it comes to envy, guess who has it most?  Young adults. I guess that's because they're starting out and it's all ahead of them.  Who wouldn't envy someone who has a good job, the ability to move to a better home in a better town, and to place their kid in a school that doesn't have others pulling guns (OK, so it was a bb gun) on their peers? A new study has found that young adults are more envious than older adults. They are more envious over looks and for a wider range of other reasons, too. It also appears that both men and women are more likely to envy

Now this is a stumper. Did you know that the more religious an upbringing you have, the less altruistic you turn out to be? That's so says a new study ,  newswise.com reports. Many families believe religion plays an essential role in childhood moral development. But children of religious parents may not be as altruistic as those parents think, according to a new international study from the University of Chicago. A team of developmental psychologists led by Prof. Jean Decety examined the perceptions and behavior of children between ages 5 and 12, from Canada, China, Jordan, South Africa, Turkey and the United States. The study assessed the children’s tendency to share—a measure of their altruism—and their inclination to judge and punish others for bad behavior. Children from religious families were less likely to share with others than were children from non-religious families. A religious upbringing also was associated with more punitive tendencies in response t