Blame Lanza's Parents? Maybe Not: the Parkers

Would I have the strength?  Or the desire to do it?  I don't know.  But Alyssa and Robbie Parker did, meeting with Adam Lanza's father barely a month after his son murdered their daughter Emilie at Sandy Hook Elementary.

They recently spoke to Norah O'Donnell on CBS This Morning about their January 23rd meeting, and they talked about how they hoped it would bring them closure for them as well as for Peter Lanza.

Not much has been released about what was actually discussed but when O'Donnell asked if it had been emotional, it was the one time Robbie Parker's voice wavered.

Do they hold Peter Lanza accountable, the Parkers were asked, and Alyssa said it wasn't his decision to make, so how could they? Was his parenting to blame?  Here they were a little more definitive, agreeing that yes, it was possible.

But I've wrestled with that. If my son, who is 11, did something this heinous, or even something not so, would I feel responsible?  The answer is yes.  When he gets a "B" instead of an "A", I feel like I'm the one who failed.  When he's not invited to a party his friends are, I feel it's my fault for not being more popular myself in school.  And when he's sad, my whole world shrinks in on itself.

But is that fair?  Are Nancy and Peter Lanza really accountable for what their son did?  In the beginning, I thought yes, of course. But the more I thought about it, I, too, realized that Adam was the one who shot up the school.

Robbie said Newtown should not be defined by this, but the world, inspired to change.  I can't quite believe their graciousness in such grief.  Do they hate Adam Lanza, wish the worst for him? Alyssa said Lanza is now in a place where "judgment will happen," saying it's not her burden to bear.


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