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I learned abou t gratefulness when I was diagnosed with cancer.  Not that I was grateful to have cancer!  But it opened my eyes to what was good about my life, and to celebrate it, because who knew what the future held? I used to live only in the future.  Living in the present seemed like a nice idea, but I could never do it.  There was always that next project at work, or would my boyfriend ever marry me (he did), then dinner with my in-laws (with whom I did not get along).  Let me get through that first, and then I'll worry about the present, I thought. But cancer's a funny thing.  When you're told you have it, you kind of don't want to live in the future anymore, because who knows what it holds? I had a friend who was diagnosed with Stage 4 renal cancer when I was going through treatment.  Friends and I would go sit with her when she was having chemo (I remember running hot water over her hands to try to get her veins to open up).   But ...

OK, so it's almost Thanksgiving and stories about gratitude abound. But here's a new one, at least to me. We all know that giving is better than receiving, right?  But what if you're giving an experience rather than an  XBox1 Virtual  Reality headset. People are more grateful for what they’ve done than what they have, and that gratitude can lead to greater generosity toward others, according to new research, newswise.com reports. The new study found that feelings of gratitude develop more often when people reflect on experiential purchases, such as vacations or tickets to events, than when they reflect on gadgets, furniture or clothes they’ve purchased. Reflecting on gratifying experiences also leads to more subsequent altruistic behavior than thinking about significant material possessions, the researchers found. In other words, when people are grateful for experiences, they treat the other people better as well. “We know a sense of gratitude carries...

For a long time I stopped holding doors for people because I got so mad when they didn't say " thank you. "  In fact, this morning I held the door for an elderly man in a white pharmacist's jacket and he didn't say a word. Forgive me, but I said, "You're welcome!" as I slammed the door behind me and rampaged into Dunkin' Donuts. But a new study says that saying thank you is more than just good etiquette.  It's actually essential to the social good. According to newswise.com,  new research offers the first evidence that expressions of gratitude go beyond mere etiquette and provide real social benefit. Researchers in Australia found the first known evidence that "gratitude leads to perceptions of interpersonal warmth, creating fertile ground for relationships to bloom." Now, I've been onto "gratitude" since Oprah suggested keeping a journal to write down five things you're grateful, for every day.  I only k...

One of my favorite sayings -- and one I have to remind myself of just about every day -- is, don't have what you want, want what you have. It's so true.  And now a new study has found that those who do just that are happier than the ones who want it all.   It probably shouldn't be a surprise.  But p eople who are materialistic are more likely to be depressed and unsatisfied, in part because they find it harder to be grateful for what they have, according to newswise.com.  My husband and I have struggled financially for some years, due to a lot of circumstances. He's a healthcare professional who's seen his earnings be whittled down bit by bit as insurance companies rev up their profits by slicing the supplier.  My own career has taken a wrong turn, as well.  I still love what I do (write), but you can't buy very much when the market is now paying $7.50 per article (thank you, Internet, where people can get it for free). We have some family and frie...

Can you believe researchers actually study this?  But they do.  And it's a fast-growing, lucrative area of science. Molly Petrilla at smartplanet.com recently interviewed a psychologist,  Sonja Lyubomirsky , who has written several books about this, and how she herself tries to keep, well, happy. One of the first topics Lyubomirsky talks about (can she really be happy with that name?) is the fact that there's no such thing as a dream job. Sorry to disappoint you all out there but what makes people happy in their jobs is excitement and passion, and that only lasts so long. "We’re not hard-wired to be passionate and excited all the time. In fact, we probably wouldn’t want to be because it would be hard to get things done. But our expectations are way too high. I talk in the (new) book (The Myths of Happiness) about a lot of people who are constantly in search of the ‘dream job.’ And there is no dream job," Lyubomirsky tells Petrilla in their interview. The psych...